Simple, pure, innocent, and sweet

From the Queen to the Crown Princess

Osborne, January 10, 1874

Lady Car has written you an account of the confirmation of darling Baby – and therefore I have not much to add but – it was very touching and simple and impressive and I never saw anyone look more simple, pure, innocent and sweet than this dear good child did.  She looked so very young – and her very plain white silk dress – beautiful complexion and very fine fair hair which she wears quite simply and plainly (and wishes to continue to do) was very suitable.  The Archbishop delivered an admirable charge which you shall have.  The church was very prettily decorated with flowers – and very full but of course the Chancel was only kept for us.  Bertie and I stood in the Chancel on one side, the other brothers and sisters on the other.  Our pew was filled by all our ladies and gentlemen and the opposite one (which was just behind me) with all the servants…Unfortunately it was a rainy dull day.  When we came back the presents were given.  From me she got the usual diamonds, the V. and A. order, dear Grandmama’s pearls (which I had worn till now) and the Indian shawl.  Tomorrow she takes the Sacrament early in the morning.

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(Beatrice, not wishing to continue to wear her hair simply and plainly, at the time of her confirmation.  Photo credit: Royal Collection)

We’ve spoken before about how Victoria tended to treat her younger children as though they were virtual toddlers well into adolescence and young adulthood.  For Victoria this likely served as a way to unconsciously soothe herself about her fears of loneliness – if Victoria still had young children around her, she could reason that those children growing up and tending to their own lives was still a long way off.  There are few more glaring examples of this treatment than the above description of Beatrice’s confirmation. 

Of her daughters, Vicky left home at the youngest age, but her future was secured much earlier when she became engaged at fourteen to Fritz.  Victoria seemed to have misgivings about this even before Vicky married three years later, but with Albert’s support and belief that Vicky’s destiny was of vital importance to Germany, she let Vicky go.  But evidently Victoria decided her younger daughters needed more time to grow up.  From Alice to Beatrice, Victoria freed each subsequent daughter a little later and to a lesser extent than her predecessor. 

As each daughter began to go through the typical rites of passage, Victoria repeatedly stated to Vicky that she was allowed to mature as an adult far too early, and that the same “mistakes” would not be made with her sisters.  From confirmation to engagement to marriage, the typical steps from childhood to womanhood for a royal woman of those times were delayed later and later from daughter to daughter. 

Daughter	Age at confirmation	Age at engagement	Age at marriage
Vicky	16 years, 0 months	14	17
Alice	16 years, 0 months	17	19
Helena	16 years, 1 month	19	20
Louise	16 years, 11+ months (11 days before her 17th birthday)	22	23
Beatrice	16 years, 9 months	27	28

Unlike engagement and marriage, Victoria could not prevent her children from being confirmed, nor would she have wished to do so.  As the head and very devout follower of the Church of England, Victoria would have no defendable reason to not allow a child to be confirmed – although she could certainly delay the process for her own psychological needs. 

Victoria explained her reservations to Vicky when the first talk of Beatrice’s confirmation began: “I shall certainly not have [Beatrice] confirmed till after she is sixteen for all of you sisters have come out too early and been made to grow up too soon.  I mean to keep her back much more.” In the case of Beatrice, Victoria would have been content to keep her a “Baby” forever had that former not protested. 

It’s ironic that Victoria was so charmed and pleased by Beatrice’s loose hair and girlish looks on her confirmation day.  Beatrice posed for photographs commemorating her confirmation as her brothers and sisters had before her – but looking every bit her almost seventeen years with a carefully arranged up do. 

Beatrice’s confirmation was unique in that none of her godparents were in attendance.  One of her godmothers, the Duchess of Kent, had died in 1861.  Her other two godparents were none other than her eldest sister and brother-in-law, Vicky and Fritz.  The two served as Beatrice’s godparents in mid-1857 in commemoration of their upcoming wedding.  At the time of Beatrice’s confirmation, Vicky and Fritz were en route to St. Petersburg to attend Affie’s wedding to Maria Alexandrovna of Russia. 

While Victoria was happy not to make the journey to St. Petersburg, Beatrice would have liked to attend the wedding.  With this now out of the question due to her mother’s will and the scheduled confirmation, Beatrice bestowed the Royal Order of Victoria and Albert as her sisters (save Alice, for unknown reasons) had been at the time of their own confirmations.  In a measure of goodwill to honor both events, the Russian Imperial family awarded Beatrice the Grand Cross of the Order of St. Catherine. 

Beatrice’s siblings recognized this moment in a way that seemed to escape Victoria – as a sign that their littlest sister was growing up.  All eight pooled their money to honor the occasion with a rather lavish gift of a diamond necklace with matching earrings.  Victoria also gave Beatrice an appropriate gift of the late Duchess of Kent’s pearl, an appropriate confirmation gift for her youngest grandchild and last goddaughter. 

But the recognition of Beatrice’s maturity was somewhat short-lived.  Just before Beatrice’s birthday three months later, Vicky noted the occasion in a customary letter to Victoria.  “…may she be as good a daughter as I trust some day a wife and mother,” Vicky wrote, recognizing her sister moving closer to adulthood.  In response, Victoria exploded at the mere suggestion of Beatrice ever thinking of such a thing, angrily stating to Vicky that she should know better.  For the next few weeks following Vicky’s misstep, Victoria even substituted her usual greeting of “Darling Child” to “Dearest.” 

Poor Baby.