"Mothers do not lose their daughters..."

Crown Princess to Queen Victoria

Berlin, January 28, 1877

Bernard of Meiningen will send his photograph very soon, one has been done on purpose for you but I think it very bad – and it does not show his nice, kind, frank expression, his fresh, healthy complexion and bright, white teeth, so rare in a German.  He has very fine eyes and a very good well-shaped mouth though it is large.  I am doing a head of him now but I get on very slowly and he is so extremely lively that it is quite a business to get him to sit still for one minute!  His birthday is on the 1^st of April, that will be Easter Sunday, and the day on which the betrothal shall be declared.  How kind of you it would be – if you have an engraving of dear Aunt Adelaide’s picture by Winterhalter to send him one on his birthday!  I am sure he would frame it and hang it up and prize it so highly.

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(Charlotte of Prussia and Bernard of Saxe-Meiningen.  Photo credit: The Esoteric Curiosa)

So let’s talk a bit about Bernard of Saxe-Meiningen – and, by extension, Victoria’s eldest granddaughter Charlotte.  Charlotte had a distinct knack for getting under the skin of most of her loved ones, particularly her British relatives.

Charlotte was eighteen months younger than Wilhelm, Vicky’s and Fritz’s eldest child.  Her birth in July 1860 was far easier than Wilhelm’s birth, which had nearly ended in tragedy for both Vicky and her son.  Although she was christened Victoria Elizabeth Augusta Charlotte, Charlotte was referred to by her final given name from birth.  Said name was used in honor of Charlotte of Saxe-Meiningen – a Prussian princess who had married into the Saxe-Meiningen family and died at age 23.  Ironically, this other Princess Charlotte was to become the mother of Bernard – the future husband of Victoria’s granddaughter Charlotte. 

Bernard was the son of Georg II, Duke of Saxe-Meiningen and the aforementioned Charlotte of Prussia.  He was intelligent and had a particular interest in archeology, but was not much of a military man.  He had two somewhat vague ties to the British royal family already – his stepmother was Feodora of Hohenlohe-Langenburg, the daughter of Victoria’s half-sister.  Bernard was also distantly related to Victoria’s aunt Adelaide, the queen consort of William IV, a relationship to which Vicky alludes above.

At just sixteen, Charlotte fell in love with 25-year-old Bernard, reportedly during a railroad excursion just outside of Berlin.  The couple became engaged at the end of 1876, evidently for some time before telling their families.  Vicky and Fritz were surprised to hear of engagement, and Fritz’s mother Augusta – to whom Charlotte was very close – was downright perturbed when she found out that she wasn’t in on the secret long before Vicky and Fritz found out.

The cat was out of the bag in January 1877.  Victoria’s response was rather lackluster, to say the least.  She was told of the engagement by a letter from Fritz to which she said she needed to “have a little breathing time” before she gave an official response.  The response from the rest of the family was mixed, as most thought Charlotte was either too young or could have done better.  Victoria did point out that Bernard was very sweet and affectionate to Charlotte, qualities which impressed her. 

The courtship between Charlotte and Bernard puzzled Vicky.  Whereas her own engagement had been one of open family celebration, Charlotte and Bernard were more private.   Vicky wrote to Victoria of her daughter’s correspondence with Bernard:

How differently the younger generation expects to be treated from what we were.  Fancy that Charlotte never tells me when she writes to Bernard or when he writes to her – they correspond daily almost, I believe, but he would be quite furious if I were only to ask, and she consider herself highly offended and very indignant if her letters were interfered with.  Fritz thinks this is all right for a German Engaged couple and says it ought to be so, but considering how young and how immature she is, I have my little doubts sometimes, and find it rather difficult to know what to do.  They resent the slightest restraint put upon them and Bernard thinks they ought to do just as they like.

For her support of Bernard’s affection toward Charlotte, Victoria put off a proposed visit of Bernard to Britain.  This upset Vicky, who never quite gave up the need to have her mother’s approval over most matters in life.  Vicky egged Victoria on with a few digs such as:

I am very sorry indeed that a little visit from Bernard would not suit you, as there will be no opportunity in the winter.  The thought of Charlotte’s marrying someone you do not know, is painful to me.  However, it is as you wish.

Victoria did relent and meet with Bernard in August 1877.  However, Vicky’s job didn’t go unnoticed.  Victoria shot back similarly snotty replies, telling Vicky that she was too busy for sudden trips and she had too many visitors to Osborne in the summer to accommodate further requests such as this.  Then she told Vicky what an enormous trial it would be as a mother compiling Charlotte’s trousseau.  Vicky actually enjoyed getting the trousseau together, but wisely told her mother how much she appreciated the love and care that went into creating Vicky’s own back in 1857. 

Charlotte and Bernard married on February 18, 1878.  She was the first of Vicky’s children to marry, a full three years before her elder brother Wilhelm married.  The ceremonies included the civil marriage in Vicky’s and Fritz’s drawing room at the Kronprinzenpalais, followed by the religious services at the Royal Palace of Berlin.  As usual, Vicky found the long ceremonies “…very hot, very tiring, and almost too serious, solemn, and heavy for a wedding, but so it always is here.” 

Vicky was a bit more touching and wistful when she discussed getting Charlotte ready for her wedding night, and her daughter’s subsequent departure.  Vicky seemed to be feeling a bit of the pain that Victoria seemed to feel when her children married, as she wrote, “I have thought more of you – than ever in my life and more than of every one else!  Mothers do not lose their daughters if all love their Mothers as much as I do you. “

As for Bernard and Charlotte, the marriage was a relatively happy one that produced a daughter, Feodora.  Bernard became Duke of Saxe-Meiningen only for a short time before his position was abolished at the end of World War I.  Known for her troublemaking ways for her entire life, Charlotte took a delight in causing waves throughout Berlin society.  But that is a story for another day.